I want to walk on stilts...naked
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
