She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
