Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
