butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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