sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
