i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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