VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
