Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
