Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No subtext here. People are naked.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
whose parrot is this?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
