So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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