dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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