The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
