I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
