i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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