Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
