He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
