I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
