She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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