Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
