Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
