at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
