he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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