so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We had sex on a dog bed..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
