My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
