I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
