finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
they're like a gay fantastic four
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
