you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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