Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
one two three fourrrrnication!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
