theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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