Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
