Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
