Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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