seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
