i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
