Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
