Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
