i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
