Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
