So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
