I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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