That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
