Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
