i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
