Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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