youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
