remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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