apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
