it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
