Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
