Just fell off a train. Bad.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i've created a new STD.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
