Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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