You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
