Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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