it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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