He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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