His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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