we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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