Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
