You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
